8 Diet Misconceptions That Will Make You Laugh
Do you think you know the life? Do you think you know what is better for your health and what isn’t? Find out how this man will explain everything about common health misconceptions. Please don’t laugh so loud, save your neighbor’s nerves.
1. I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it. Don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer. That’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. As De’.
2. Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than
an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass, green leafy vegetables). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop. Look also on 5 things which are not a vegetable.
3. Is beer or wine bad for me?
Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.
4. How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
5. What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain… Good.
6. Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
You’re not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
7. What’s the secret to healthy eating?
Thicker gravy.
8. Is chocolate bad for me?
Are you crazy? HELLO! Cocoa beans - another vegetable! “It’s the best feel good food around!”
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had.
When life hands you lemons, ask for a bottle of tequila and the salt.
P.S.: Don’t forget, it’s just a joke.
By Emma on Apr 9, 2008 | Reply
This is downright hilarious. “No pain… Good” was my favorite part.
By Alex on Apr 9, 2008 | Reply
Yeah, I like you like it!
By joe on Apr 10, 2008 | Reply
deffinitely people have a false sense of what is good bc everything pertaining to food is corporate controlled
By Drew on Apr 10, 2008 | Reply
hey, I love the last answer, I knew it !!! That’s why no matter what people say about chocolate, I don’t really bother to listen.
By Alex on Apr 10, 2008 | Reply
I think only our body knows what is good for us, we should feel it and trust. And of course we need to learn benefits and harms of foods. Nobody can say what you should eat.
By Metroknow on Apr 14, 2008 | Reply
I loved the post, but especially the logic of number 3 - what else could it be but good food?
Thanks for the laugh
By Tonie on Apr 14, 2008 | Reply
Wow, you had me going there for a moment, which demonstrate another health misconception, “take yourself very seriously and never laugh again because it gives you wrinkles” LOL
By Tom Parker on Apr 15, 2008 | Reply
Haha. Great article. I thought it was serious right down to the P.S. don’t forget it’s just a joke.
By Alex on Apr 19, 2008 | Reply
It’s really show the opportunity of human assure himself that all goes good and all we eat is healthy… don’t lie to yourself - that’s my advice.
Thanks for commenting, friends!